When is it that life became so unbearable. Where one is transfixed in success and meeting those goals. Was I created and brought into this world to meet those needs? Was I undeniably left at the mercy of a culture of go-go-go. Yes, I happen to have had the fortunate opportunity to be educated, but does that necessarily mean that I want to lose myself? Does that mean that I want to go for something just for the monetary supplements? Is it worth the stress and pain to please the world that I so desperately want to escape?
My conclusion is still far reaching. At this point, I can only state that I am at a loss of words. Hope seems to be a googolplex away. I hope to. until then, find comfort that I still have my sanity. And my soul.
My My! It has been a while, hasn’t it.
No excuses. I must be honest.
My absence has not been from being ridiculously busy (I am working and whatnot, but still peruse the social networking sites).
My absence has not been due to any lapse in “smart choice” eating. No, that is silly folks, I love me some REAL FOOD.
No. My absence has , been from my own avoidance of reality. I will probably explain at a later date. But keeping up with a blog literally means detailing life. But as of the past month, I too have been perplexed by the very concept of life. What does life entail? How do I go about “living.” Like a droid-robot, instead of taking steps to be a social citizen, I have quitely (and for the worse) escaped into my own bubble, hiding from my own fears (pertaining to my future) and hesistant to see the next steps of my life.
Like Dr.Ross stated, there are 5 steps to acceptance of grief.
Today.. I am at that point of acceptance. I will do my best (and explain later) to reconquer society, tackle my future, and come to terms with facing my fears.
And like the motto chimes “Whatever will be will be.”
Tata for now!
::Recalculating.. turn right on the next signal::
Sometimes, I feel as if my life is just like my GPS. One minute things are going smoothly, directions are becoming reality one step at a time, and then all of a sudden..::recalculating::.
I realize I have been away for a bit (over 20 days… yikes) but I have been quite busy. Quite busy with my work schedule, new family routine (now that I am back home.. yay for graduating from the University of Florida!), and my reevaluation of my life schedule. Ah yes friends, this is my recalculating mode. Maybe I think too much? Maybe I have high expectations for myself? Or maybe, I just need to take a chill pill and relax? I honestly love the third idea.
::recalculating.. please slow down Cindy, enjoy your life, you only live once. Do this for yourself, for if you want to live to be 100 (of course I do!), you need to tone down the stress and anxiety and live in the moment.::
My final words of caution for this morning.. oh wait there is none, for I should be in contentment for what I do have and not over think my future.
See you tomorrow (I hope =) )
Heat Pad: Check!
Copious amounts of HOT lemon/honey water: Check!
Cough Drops: Check!
Writing Pad: Check!
Hi folks! After quite a long hiatus, I am back (with a vengeance lol). Currently unable to produce a normal vocal sound. I literally have no voice =(.
Until then, here are some eats ( only a few due to graduation/packing/holidays/work/packing some more /traveling/ unpacking) as well as a glimpse of what I plan on posting tomorrow.
With NyQuil in me, and Westside Story tunes singing in my head, I am sure to have an eventful night’s dream.
Good Night Ya’ll!
Oh yes my friends, I have returned after a long slumber away. Thankfully classes are wrapping up and I have extra time on my hands.
Oh yes, I ate ramen noodles Friday night. The first time in possibly 2 years. I added veggies to compensate for the msg/sodium😉 .
Oh yes, I enjoyed a lovely meal at BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse with 3 friends (2 declined on the photos).
Oh yes, I ate a delicious Thai Shrimp Lettuce Wrap.
Oh yes, I split the pizookie mini trio 4 ways with said 3 friends. Peanut Butter, Cookies and Cream, Triple Chocolate with Ghiradelli. Each bite was so decadently delicious!
Oh yes, I FINALLY watched Eclipse last night. I read the books 4 years ago, loved them, but never truly fell on the movie mania bandwagon. But I must admit, I loved this movie more than the first two.
(And as a side note, Taylor Lautner has some nice abs!)
Oh yes, I added Puffins Cinnamon Cereal to my steel-cut oatmeal this morning. Puffins is delicious! It’s the first time I have tried them!!
Oh yes, I am now off to the gym. Oh yes!
What is Bliss? What can I say and do that will personally bring me bliss.
Right now, it seems that Stress > Bliss. I am tired, frustrated, and scared about my impending future post Undergraduate Education.
After much reflection and much moping on my part, I must remember to Live for today, for tomorrow will always be a slew of uncertainty. Live in the now, for it is the most important thing to concern yourself over.
That is all!
(I will be posting more frequently after EXAMS)
One of these things is not like the other… Hmm.. I wonder which lol.
I’ll start off by saying that this has been a trying week! I have been experiencing a combination of sinus infection, nausea, fever, and lethargy. Maybe it has to do with all the stress I am under (One Month Exactly until I graduate from UF!)
Or maybe the stress is due to this little old thing called the GRE Subjects Test. Yes folks, I think we have discussed my future before. But this is the one thing I need to do. It is Psychology specific. And it is this Saturday at 5:00 PM. Wish me luck?
Last but not least, I am beyond thrilled to have been randomly selected the winner of Stefanie’s CSN Giveaway. It has literally made my week (Trust me, it has been an unpleasant week). Thanks so much Stefanie!
Well, back to a combination of Rest and Studying. I will update on the foods I have actually been able to consume tomorrow/Sunday (Post GRE).